Lucy, You've Got Some "Esplainin" To Do!

Some time back a fellow blogger, Lesley (short pause for a shout-out to Lesley and her blog, "Millers Meet Sacramento"), posted the first page of a "1930’s Marital Rating Scale". Don't get me wrong, the first page was captivating, but all it did was leave me wanting more. Thus, I began a search for the "rest of the story". Finally found it (about 4 months ago but starting this story by revealing that fact would have made the whole thing outdated and caused everyone to stop reading and continue their World Wide Web stalking (you know you do it). Remember when we called it the "World Wide Web"? Miss that.)

Where was I? Ah, yes...marriage in the 1930's. Now, while reading what I am about to show you, keep in mind that I hand picked 12 or 13 of my favorites...there are a total of 50 each (demerits and merits) for each spouse. Plus, there is a scoring scale that I have neither the time nor desire to explain. If this abbreviated list leaves you wanting more, just email me or leave a comment with a "Full Test" request (you must phrase it that way) and it will be to you in a jiffy (using the word "jiffy" should be a wife merit but indeed it is not. Side tangents should be a demerit but they are not...phew.). This is word-for-word and straight from the 1930's Horse's Mouth...enjoy:

1930’s Marital Rating Scale

This test represents the composite opinions of 600 husbands/wives who were asked to list the chief merits and demerits of their wives/husbands. I have summarized the most frequently voiced flaws and virtues. – Dr. George W. Crane

Husband Merits
1) Gives wife ample allowance or turns paycheck over to her
2) Helps with dishes, caring for children, scrubbing
3) Polite and mannerly even when alone with his wife
4) Reads newspaper, books or magazines aloud to wife
5) Enjoys taking wife along with him wherever he goes
6) Interested in athletics
7) Plays with children or helps them with lessons
8) Willingly prepares own breakfast
9) Well liked by men, courageous – not a sissy
10) Eats whatever is served to him without grumbling or criticism
11) Tries to keep wife equipped with modern labor saving devices
12) Gives wife real movie kisses not dutiful “peck” on the cheek

Husband Demerits
1) Stares at or flirts with other women while out with his wife
2) Compares wife unfavorably with his mother or other wives
3) Leaves dresser drawers open
4) Fails to bathe or change clothes often enough
5) Angry if newspaper is disarranged
6) Tells embarrassing things about wife when out in public
7) Writes on tablecloth with pencil
8) Argues with or curses at other motorists
9) Boasts about his former girl friends or his conquests
10) Kisses wife just after her make-up has been applied
11) A chronic braggart or boaster
12) Objects to wife driving auto

Wife Merits
1) Can carry on an interesting conversation
2) Dresses for breakfast
3) Lets husband sleep late on Sunday and holidays
4) Laughs at husband’s jokes and his clowning
5) Encourages thrift – economical
6) Has pleasant voice – not strident
7) Has spunk – will defend her ideals and religion
8) An active member of some women’s organization
9) Keeps self dainty, perfumed, and feminine
10) Keeps hair neatly combed or shampooed and waved
11) Often comments on husband’s strength and masculinity
12) Praises marriage before young women contemplating it

Wife Demerits
1) Wears soiled or ragged dresses and aprons around the house
2) Seams in hose often crooked
3) Puts her cold feet on husband at night to warm them
4) Shoulder straps hang over arms or slip is uneven and shows
5) Is more than 15 pounds over-weight
6) Eats onions, radishes, or garlic before a date or going to bed
7) Slows up card game with chatter and gossip
8) Smokes, drinks, gambles, or uses dope
9) Squeezes toothpaste at the top
10) Fails to wash top of milk bottle before opening it
11) Wears pajamas instead of nightgown
12) Walks around the house in stocking feet

My intention was to leave it at that and allow the test to speak for itself but I simply cannot resist asking myself (and all of you since you are eavesdropping in on my internal dialogue) a couple things:

1) What is considered "ample allowance" and who determines it?

2) Men in the 1930's got a pat on the back for liking sports? Why didn't women get a merit for breathing then?

3) "Not a sissy"...1930's language, really? Never heard June Cleaver say that.

4) What 1930's movie are we referring to when we speak of "real movie kisses"? This may sound naive here, but I did not think people were allowed to kiss in the "talkies" this early on. Wasn't hand holding about as much PDA that was allowed? Wizard of Oz...no kissing. Grapes of Wrath...I don't remember any kissing. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs...oh, kissing. But does animation kissing count as a "real movie kiss"? I guess Prince Charming did lay one on her at the end. How could he not with that name?

5) What happens if a husband stares or flirts with other women when he is not out with his wife? Just "frowned upon"?

6) Who in their right mind would whip out a pencil during dinner and write on the tablecloth? Was this really prevalent enough to have to remind men that it is, in fact, a demerit? "Oh fiddle sticks, Ward made a to-do list on the good linens again."...

7) Women got a merit for carrying on a good conversation? Not to be cocky, but considering I can talk, at this point I am thinking I am the best 1930's wife around.

8) Does checking the "female" box on applications and questionnaires count as a "women's organization"? If so, I am acing this thing.

9) Dainty? Perfumed? Waved? Dang, not acing it any more.

10) Oh, and then I read the Wife's Demerits...and now I am failing this test miserably and feel the need to grovel at Cameron's feet. Well, I am missing most other than the using dope thing. Just a demerit? Really? I think that would classify more as a major red flag. Oh, and what the heck are "stocking feet" and how do I know if I am walking around the house in them?

Alright, it is nearing supper time so I best go change out of my soiled apron, put my hose on (with seams straight of course), apply my make-up and prepare for my real movie kiss. Hey, the 30's aren't so bad! And here is a visual to prove it:

And one updated bonus picture of the happy couple because you have been such good readers: