Let's go to the phone lines...

Fact: I am bad at "staying in contact", I am not a good phone talker, I fear that email is a bit impersonal, and due to our location, "visiting people" is not very convienient. So, I will attempt to answer some of your questions by way of a short Q&A session. Here we go...

Q: You almost died last week?

A: No, and where did you hear that? Oh, I see where you are getting this. Let me set the scene: Flash to me driving in the middle of Utah at 3 AM. Cameron is sleeping soundly as I am trying to fight sleep by listening to, none other than, NKOTB (please stay with me here). There is a flash in the sky as a falling (not shooting - falling) star plummets down to earth right in front of the car. I'm not sure exactly how big this falling star was...or close it was for that matter, but if I had to guess I would say it was the size of Delaware and about 100 yards away. This is, of course, an absurd guess. But I am an absurd girl. And hey, if you know off the top of your head how big the average shooting star is, then go ahead and correct me (Side note: Don’t correct me). Anyway, from the looks of it, I was convinced that it was the end for Cameron, me, "Dusty The 4-Runner", and the two other cars I had seen in the last 30 minutes. As you might have guessed, time passed, nothing happened - so it must have been smaller than Delaware after all.

*no picture for obvious reasons

Q: What are some of the things that you and Cameron have been high fiving about lately?

A: That is kind of personal...but I will humor you anyway. Two words - Fantasy Football. After our Scurrilous Scalawags' abysmal 0-4 start, the Butler household was tense, at best. Hernias, sprained ankles, broken ribs, turf toes, and general lazy attitudes all contributed to our winless '08 season. But, right when we considered giving up, right after we took on the attitude of "we don't give a rip", we began a two week winning streak. High-Five to that!

Note to reader: in the time it took me to get around to posting this, our winning streak was violently snapped and we are back to yelling things like "Even I could score 2 points, you swine" at the TV. Thanks for bringing this subject up.

*Side note to anyone still reading (hi mom): No, I am not one of those girls who pretends to like football so a guy will like me. I have always watched football...even by myself through the 90's and the first four years of the 2000's. And besides, pulling that bait-n-switch on a guy is the lowest a girl can go and I refuse to be "that girl".

Q: Knowing what you know now, would you ever think about getting another puppy?

A: Well, I like knowing what I know now and can say with joy that we can check this one off the ol' "to do" list. Let's face it, Mowgli needed a playmate that was not a human with a pony tail that he loved to chew on. We adopted a "mastiff mix" about a month ago and as soon as we got the mutt home she started coming apart at the seams. The first three weeks were rough ones as she had a parasite, a scratched cornea, and a leg that, for all we knew, looked broken. After meds, "the cone", middle of the night eye drops, and massive amounts of vitamins, Libby is back on track and growing like a weed. There is a game we like to play called "guess the breed" and so far Mastiff, German Shepherd, Beagle, Bernese Mountain Dog, and St. Bernard have all made it into the hat. At the same time, Mowgli's make-up continues to be a mystery as well. They are both mutts but feel free to take a guess:

Now that we have that taken care of, the only challenge for Cameron and me is learning the dog brain and resisting the temptation to approach situations with a "I do not poo on your stuff" kind of attitude. The alternative is, well, out of the question.

Q: Speaking of CA, how was the weather?

A: That is a silly question so I think I will ignore it. But, we did have a great time hanging out with Cameron's family, going to his cousin's wedding, and bonfiring (Verb? Why not?) at the beach.

Q: What is the quickest way to forget about coming face to face with an angry 1,500 lb moose?

A: I am glad you asked. Try this on for size, hearing a bear roar...close...in the woods to your immediate left.

A few weeks back Cameron, Mowgli, and I got a late jump on our decision to finally finish the Emmaline Lake Hike...to the end. Call it what you will, but Cameron and I saw "8 hours round trip" in the hike book, looked at each other, exchanged a small wink, and decided we could make it in 5. Hopefully you call it blind optimism rather than pure cockiness.

We were heading up to the lake as everyone was heading home, never a good sign. None the less, we pushed on and were glad we did. The summit was, in a word, beautiful. Our time taking pictures and enjoying the reward was cut short by the sneaking suspicion that we might outlast the sun on this one so we headed down the mountain "with purpose". The miles were flying by until we came face to face with two very large moose (note: they injure more people than all of those other animals coming to your mind...combined). We launched into problem solving mode. Cameron insisted we make a plan of retreat in case our plan of advance did not work. The tall tree to my right was my escape plan...hindsight is 20/20 but I was not being realistic. We continued - in order to scare it off our path we tried throwing rocks, banging sticks, and yelling - all the while advancing...nothing made the beasts even flinch. Before we knew it we were tromping through brush, prehistoric weapons in hand, giving the stubborn moose (and whatever young'un they may have) a wide birth. Finally we were able to hook back up with the trail and use adrenaline to pick up our pace and make up some lost time. Right about when I started to tire, we heard a load roar in the trees to our left. New weapons were found and our breakneck speed was increased...something I thought not possible. In the end, we made it home and learned our lesson to not throw rocks at moose. Or was it leave for hikes earlier? I can't remember.

Q: If people say that "spring has sprung" can't it be said that "fall has fell"?

A: Yeah, I guess you can put it that way, although it IS a bit negative. But, negative or not, while we were on the beach in CA, snow was falling on the mountain top... a clear cut - smack you in the face, freeze you in the fingers - sign that summer is over. And the anticipated amount of firewood we will need to make it through these next fill in the blank cold months means that I should be firing up the chainsaw instead of answering all of your questions. Function over form...or something like that...

Kudos to Karolyi

Like many of you, I am sure, I have been in a blue funk the past couple weeks. They left as quickly as they came...

The Olympics are to a Sports fan (like Cameron and me) what Halloween is to 8-year-olds. What sports are on TV? ALL sports are on TV? Who is playing? EVERYONE is playing? What a fantastic two weeks it was. Swimming...great. Although, after the relay, I almost found myself wanting Phelps to win Silver...just so he would appreciate his next Gold a little more. Volleyball...great. Soccer...great. Rhythmic Dancing...not so great (but that is one woman's humble opinion). Gymnastics, although chalked full with scandals and instances of USA getting robbed...great. Field Hockey...great. Yeah, Field Hockey. Am I alone in thinking my whole life that "Field Hockey" was a practical joke? Like the seniors in High School telling freshman that the pool was on the roof in hopes of you falling for it and looking like an idiot. I had always heard about it, but never seen it played. That is, until two weeks ago when I enjoyed my lunch over a match (game?) between Germany and the Netherlands. It was the semi-final and ended six rounds into penalty shots, after two overtime periods...with me on my feet cheering...and thus spilling my All-Natural Ginger Ale.

I knew the Olympics were affecting me, mostly by way of 1) lack of sleep 2) complete obsession and therefore 3) total animosity toward anything non-Olympics. One morning last week I realized my obsession had gone too far when the few hours of sleep I got (USA vs. Spain Basketball kept us up until 3AM) was hindered by the dream I had. Here is the summary…it went something like this: Me, in the IOC's main office, with Alicia Sacramone by my side (read: by my waist), reading the "head honchos" the riot act. Picture me as a less hairy, younger, female, easier to understand Bela Karolyi...easy to do, right? If you do not know who Bela Karolyi is than you were obviously not fist pumping along with us from afar during his interviews with that weasel Bob Costas. In spite of how much we enjoyed The Games, its our opinion that NBC did a putrid job in its coverage of the Olympics. Cameron is still in mourning over the fact that we didn't get to see Tae Kwon Do, Judo, Wrestling, or any of these other martial events.

And now a confession: Over the past few weeks I have developed a sizeable hatred for the Olympic host country. No, it is not racism, per se, because it has nothing to do with the fact that they are Chinese. It does, however, have everything to do with the fact that they are manipulative cheaters who are mean to little girls and need to win, no matter the cost. There I said it.

The Olympics ran me through the full gamut of emotions. One minute I was crying, the next minute I was laughing, one minute I was yelling at the TV…ordering an opposing country’s athlete to “fall on your face!”, and the next minute I would be cheering and celebrating victory with a marital high-five and some fist pumps. Yes, there was much fist pumping happening during “The Games”.

So maybe it is good thing, for my stress levels, not to mention tennis elbow, that the Olympics are over. Although, even as I am acknowledging it being a good thing that the torch is out, in the back of my mind I am still counting down to London. 1,422 days to go...

All I have to hold onto for the next four years is this: there are hundreds, if not thousands, of 12 year-olds out there (4 year-olds in China) who will be spending the next four years, day-in and day-out, training in a gym/pool/field, ruining their family's lives, for their one shot at entertaining me...I mean, winning gold. Oh the beauty of competition.

So now you know what we have been doing for the past three weeks...but what about the last three months, you ask? (Or maybe you did not even notice I was gone).

A load of things have happened. We live in a new place. We live in a newly built house. We have a new puppy. We have The Rocky Mountains out our backdoor. All of these great reasons for not staying on top of the blog.

In an attempt to catch everyone up on our "going-ons", I am going to post some pictures. Consider this my lazy, and slightly conceited, way of making myself feel more important than I really am. In fact, I might even form this blog as a list to further prove my award winning laziness.

1) First stop on the Tour de Butler Summer is a River Trip we took with TJ and Colby. It was a private five day white water rafting trip down the Green and Yampa Rivers. We put in at the Gates of Lodore and, many bruises, sunburns, and mosquito bites later, took out at Dinosaur National Park. Ah, the only place where, not only is it socially acceptable to wear the same clothes for five days straight, but it is expected.

2) Post river trip, because we were finished with our summer travel obligations, we wasted no time in getting a puppy. It took us more than an hour at the puppy adoption facility to decide to welcome the mutt into our lives. We got plenty of looks that read: most people will adopt a kid with less consideration than this. Hey those people: Our caution paid off! Although he was 1) covered “head to claw” with ticks and 2) missing half of his tail, we took him and love him. His name is Mowgli, he is a black lab mix…with what, we do not know, and he hit the ground running….or should I say hiking?

During the breaks between house projects, which have been few and far between, we have taken some pretty amazing hikes. And now, just to change up the pace, an outline format. Been out of school for over four years now and I’ve still got “it”:

I. Hikes

a) Saw Mill – located about an hour west of our humble abode there is an old Saw Milling road that led us back into a beautiful bowl where we went “off path” and took an eight hour hike “Bear Grylls Style”. We went above tree line, hiked in the snow (in July), and stumbled on a herd of Elk.

b) Vulture Peak – this peak has been taunting us since we bought the property. It is out our back door and offers great bird’s eye views of our stomping grounds. This was Mowgli’s first hike which turned out to be a few hours longer and a few hundred feet higher than we expected. Once on top, panoramic views opened up and we were glad we risked life and limb to make it to the top.

c) Cirque Meadows – although it has been eight years now since I lived in Colorado, I do remember August weather. Rain showers in the afternoon, blue skies in the morning, warm, etc. Not the weekend two of Cameron’s brothers came to visit. Constant rain tried its best to hold us down, but, in the end, failed. Horseshoe pits were built, log planters were constructed, and hikes were tackled. After solving the puzzle - that was the hike book’s directions – and making it to the trailhead, we enjoyed an easy but beautiful “jaunt” up to Cirque Meadows.

d) Poudre to Rist – While we haven't exactly submitted applications to take over the helm on Man Vs. Wild, we like to think of ourselves as somewhat competent in “fend for yourself” situations. So, for Colby’s 14th birthday we planned (read: scheduled) a survival day-hike. The only plan we had was to hike from our house to Elizabeth and TJ’s newly purchased property…and in 6 hours. Minimal planning/mapping was done beyond that. We took water, a compass, knives, flint, and an MRE. We made it to Rist canyon…¾ of a mile away from their road, one hour ahead of schedule, and lbs. of wild raspberries heavier. If getting lost…on purpose…were possible, I would do it in a heartbeat.

Back in California the only “seasons” that were of any importance were football and basketball. The phase of our life known as “ignoring the weather” (aka: you don’t know what you got till it’s gone) is now over. Summer, Fall, Winter, and Spring are very noticeable now. Fall chores are underway, but with any luck Cameron and I will still have a few summer tricks up our sleeves. If not, and this cold front is the beginning of the end, we will still have some summer memories to hold onto:

The Food Chain

First off, let me apologize for the impromptu hiatus. There, now that we have that out of the way, and my guilty conscience has been mended, we can move on.

The rumors are true, one out of the two parts of the Butler Team has moved. Darn near a month ago Cameron and I packed our SoCal Townhouse (with the much appreciated help of his family) into a 16 ft. "Penske Dream Boat" and headed to Colorado. Many tanks of gas, sweat beads (through AZ we both refused to waste any gas on A/C), and hours past our ETA later...we had arrived.

How is that for symbolism?

Once in Fort Collins, we turned our attention towards stashing all of our worldly belongings in any nook and cranny that was not already occupied. This chore was greatly hindered by our storage unit, that I had reserved a couple weeks previous to the move, being yes 5'X10'...but in a layout suited better for a giraffe stall than furniture and boxes.

Cameron flew back to California to focus on work and I stayed here at Camp McMahan (shout out to their generosity and patience) with a mission to push the house project along in any way possible. And push I did.

Which brings us to "The Top Ten Signs You Have Turned Into A Construction Worker":

1. The people at Home Depot have passed the "Know You By Name" phase and now just ask, "What do you need this time?".

2. In the likely event that you happen to drop something on the ground after 4:00 PM, you mutter under your breath “ah, hell”…shrug…and quickly convince yourself that it will still be there tomorrow and you will pick it up then.

3. When standing from a seated position, it takes a full ten steps to get into the full upright position.

4. Even after you have showered, when you bend down to get something (again, not recommended) you see saw dust fall off of you…then mutter “ah, hell…where did that come from?”.

5. You start using the word “hell” a lot.

6. “Mutter” is the perfect word to explain your mode of communication.

7. You would like to get the dirt out from under your thumb nail but the pain involved (due to the numerous misfires with a Paul Bunyan size hammer) is just not worth the attempt at good hygiene. Wait, wait…no…that might be blood under the nail.

8. There are tan lines on your neck and face that can only be created by wearing a chainsaw helmet…with built in hear muffs and mesh face shield (please refer to the visual aid).

9. You can correctly identify the shoe and the apron…and you know that I am not talking about clothing here.

10. It is Tuesday afternoon at 5:00 and you find yourself drinking a beer with three middle age men (unless of course you are a middle age man in which case this is normal behavior and in no way means you are a construction worker).

In the last month, many family members (most of the female variety) have supplied me with countless warnings about safety (not that the men do not care...because they do...they just have different ways of showing it). So many warnings that I started convincing myself that massive bleeding or death was around every corner. Now, I do not want to come across as careless (as I realize that chainsaws, table saws, grinders, sanders, and the like are all dangerous pieces of equipment) so I thought I would provide the masses (aka, the handful of people who actually read this thing) with some evidence that I am, in fact, the Poster Child of Construction Safety:







As luck would have it, the one time I forgot to strap on the Ol' Safety Glasses, I got mud in my eye. Fantastic.


While most of my time has been spent with my dusty nose to the grindstone, I have had a few opportunities to stop and enjoy some of the sights one might experience up at our new house. I present to you...the food chain at work (a few rungs of the chain might be missing or out of order as not all creatures have been photographed):

The Butler Team will be at full strength this weekend after Cameron drives, yet again, across country...this time for good. Barring any unexpecteed setbacks, we should get our "CO" (Certificate of Occupancy) in about a week and a half.

Home, Sweet Home...almost!

Simply Un-American

Got a new American Express Card with a huge limit and an awesome rate. Yeah, I know, I am a pretty big deal. Not that I use credit cards a lot, I am just in a "who has the best credit score" competition with...well, everyone, I guess. Score update: I am winning. An added bonus is that the card has a really cool holographic blue square on it that, when catching the light the right way, brightens my day. (The picture does not do it justice)

That is where the story starts to go downhill. This afternoon I was pondering what my balance must be on the new C-Card. You know me, I let my fingers do the talking and attempt to log on to their website. In the process of tryin' to register my account, I am told that I have my place of birth wrong and they lock me out of the system. "Weird" I think to myself...actually I said it out loud. Funny, I thought I knew were I was born...and how does American Express know where I was born to tell me I am wrong?

But "The Man" cannot get me down so I call my friends at AEXP (look at me using stock exchange lingo). After spending ten minutes trying to hack into their automated system (oh yes, the secret to getting in is to give your...you guessed it...place of birth), I give up and start hitting "0" over and over again until my little cell phone screen cannot take it anymore. Ah, finally, a human. She started off chipper. She asked me for my name...got that right. She asked me for my account number...got that right. She asked me for my SS number...right again. 100% so far.

Then she asks me for my place of birth to which I respond, "the system must have it wrong because I was born in Fort Collins but it keeps rejecting that answer".

Her: "Oh, okay Ma'am, that is not what I am seeing here."
Me: (thinking, "isn't that what I just said?") but say, "Okay, where does it say I was born?"
Her: "Ma'am, I can't give you that information. Let's try to get in another way. We are going to access PUBLIC RECORDS so the following information is not held here at American Express. Can you tell me the name of a family member that us not listed on the credit card?"

This caught me off guard...can they do that? At the same time, I was trying to be cooperative and could not remember if Cameron is listed on it or not, so I think on my feet and say - "Elizabeth Hughes". Sister...that should work right? The woman puts me on hold for "a moment" and goes to look in my public records in a chore that I imgaine looking like this:

Wrong answer! The lady, getting all judgmental says, "I am sorry, your answers are incorrect and I am going to have to transfer you to our lost and stolen credit card department.". I say, "Uh, what? I got my sister's name AND my place of birth wrong?". Her - "Please hold".

I hold...then get a different chipper lady (although, I sensed that she was a bit guarded and had been forewarned that I was not pleased about flunking a pop-quiz about MYSELF).

She asks me for my place of birth. Are you kidding me? I give her a small piece of my mind. She switches gears...

Then she says that she can change my address now (half way through this whole thing I figured that the balance info was not enough to go through all of this for and wanted to get some other stuff done while I was at it). We change my mailing address and get my balance info. Then....

She asks for my place of birth! I tell her FORT COLLINS.

F_O_R_T - C_O_L_L_I_N_S - C_O_L_O_R_A_D_O

"Okay, Mrs. Butler, I have corrected the spelling and it should work now."

"WHAT? YOU JUST HAD THE SPELLING WRONG????"

"Yes ma'am, is there anything else we can do for you today?"

Believe me, SO many things came to mind that they can do for me today...some involved enrolling back in school, getting a lesson in common sense, and last of all...sticking things places. But, I took the high road (read passive-agressive) and said "pffish, no, that will be all".

Needless to say, I am a bit on edge...who does public records have as my sister?

...or so they say...

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

Top three scenes from the past two weeks that support Ol' Abe's theory:

Scene I: Katie is letting Cameron know that she does not need pampering and thus opts for the thinner blanket. And Action.

Katie: "Ah, how is that for being a Post-Madonna?" (trying to use a clever play on words to express my humility)
Cameron: "You know the expression is 'Prima Donna', right?"

No, no I did not.

Katie's expression: "Pre-Madonna"
Correct expression: "Prima Donna"

The term was used to designate the leading female singer in the opera company. Legendarily, these "prima donnas" (prime donne in Italian) were often regarded as egotistical, unreasonable, and irritable, with a rather high opinion of themselves not shared by others.

Makes sense...I guess.

Scene II: Katie is asking Cameron what he wants for dinner. And Action.

Katie: "Oh no, have I said too much...did I tip my hat?"
Cameron: "Wait, what? Do you mean 'Tip Your Hand'?"

Yes, yes I do.

Katie's expression: "Tip Your Hat"
Correct expression: "Tip Your Hand"

Based on the literal meaning of tip or show your cards to intentionally or unintentionally let others see the cards you hold in your hand in a card game.

Makes sense...I guess.

Scene III: Katie and Cameron are playing basketball. As Cameron drives for a lay-up, Katie slaps Cameron on the arm. And Action.

Katie: "Oops, sorry, your ball. I raped you."
Cameron: "Um, you know the expression is 'raked', right?"

No, no I did not.

Katie's expression: "Raped"
Correct expression: "Raked"

Rake - To scrape; scratch. Example: "...when he raked Nash's off-hand as Nash crossed over, forcing a turnover. Replays revealed a clear foul."

Makes sense...I guess. It is a darn good thing I was not much of a smack-talker back in my playing days.

Bonus Footage: Katie is traveling to CO to work on the house. Katie and Cameron keep talking about an item on the to-do list having to do with stone and masonry. And Action.

Katie: "I need to make sure I go by and see Cory about the mantel"
Cameron: "I think it will be important for you to know that you are going to THE QUARRY to look at rock, not to a business owned by a guy named CORY"

That WOULD be good to know.

Katie planned on going to see: Cory
Cameron wanted Katie to go by the: Quarry

Quarry - an excavation or pit, usually open to the air, from which building stone, slate, or the like, is obtained by cutting, blasting, etc.

Makes sense...I guess...but I still think this was an easy mistake. I just wondered why both Cameron and our builder would talk about this guy like he knows everything...

For the reasons outlined above, I have new found respect for this man: "There is an old saying that goes, 'Fool me once...shame on...you, fool me....can't get fooled again" - President Bush

Well, at least I still have these words to live by:

"It is a damn poor mind indeed which can't think of at least two ways to spell any word." - Andrew Jackson

Try using new expressions? No. Never.

Find new and creative ways to spell words? That is still okay...a sign of itelligence in fact.

Does anyone else's respect for Cameron grow with each story I relive?

The last month in 47 words or less...

One Year Anniversary in Santa Barbara...

Paper? No, sand.

Easter at the Courthouse Gardens

Our thanks to "The Herd" for this gift:

Camping in Blythe. Bear Grylls and Les Stroud have nothing on us...

Poor kindling cannot hold us down...

Trip to CO to make final decisions: